Our society is completely changing in many different aspects–especially regarding family. So many things that used to be completely taboo subjects are becoming so socially acceptable that even the media portrays it as normal. What a lot of people don’t know, is that these exact subjects are completely DESTROYING the family.
I believe that premarital sex is the basis for all of these changes in the family. Premarital sex leads to delayed marriage age, birth rates decreasing, cohabitation, an increase in births to unmarried women… the list goes on and on. This is a problem because it is creating an increase in more broken families among our nation. Research shows that the best situation for children is in a traditional, two-parent family, as shown in this study. Unfortunately, premarital sex is creating a dramatic increase in single parent homes, which is affecting the next generation.
Cohabitation is another one of these dangerous trends that is creating more single-parent and broken families. Most don’t see the harm in cohabitation, and some even believe that cohabitation creates a stronger marriage because you get a “trial run” for marriage. According to Meg Jay in her article on the downsides of cohabitation, “Couples who cohabit before marriage (and especially before an engagement or an otherwise clear commitment) tend to be less satisfied with their marriages — and more likely to divorce — than couples who do not.”
But why? Many who cohabit before being married or even engaged would agree that they wanted to live with their significant other to “test it out” while the door is still open. They want to be able to leave whenever problems arise without having that high commitment of marriage. The problem with this is that when these cohabiting couples do get married, the door never completely closes. They don’t know how to resolve major conflicts in their marriage because if these conflicts had come up when they were cohabiting, they would have left. These couples also have a lower level of commitment–because if they had a high commitment to their significant other, they wouldn’t have needed that “trial run” before committing to marriage.
An unfortunate trend in our society is the increase in births to unmarried mothers. Sadly, this trend is becoming something that most don’t even view as a bad thing anymore–it has become completely socially acceptable. While we should always lend our support to these single mothers, I don’t believe this should be a “normal” trend. 41% of babies today are born to unmarried mothers. This means that nearly HALF of the next generation have entered this world into broken families.
In his article on fragile families, LaVar Young says, “Previous research demonstrates that children who live apart from one of their parents at some point in their childhood are twice as likely to drop out of high school, twice as likely to have a child before age 20, and one and a half times as likely to be out of school or work by their late teens or early 20s.” To me, this is a scary statistic–a trend that absolutely needs to change. Having children out of wedlock is creating a domino effect for even more children born into families without both parents in the home. This NEEDS to CHANGE.
While I have written about some rather disappointing trends in today’s family in America, there is still hope. We, the next generation of parents, can make this change. All it takes is a little education and a lot of action. Let us do what we can to make these changes to create the best world possible for our children. It all starts with FAMILY.
Elisabeth Hampton & Family 