Family Roles

Whether aware of it or not, all family members have specific roles. This concept is important because it helps the family to function properly. Roles are always based on values, whether we evaluate our values beforehand or not. While the most commonly thought of roles in the home are the father and the mother, children and siblings also hold important roles in the family.

I come from a family of all girls. In my family, my role was the “bossy older sister”. I’ve always had an innate motherly nature, so I naturally took on the role of what I thought was a caring, second mother, but my sisters viewed this role as a bossy older sister who thinks she knows better than you. Though I genuinely thought I was being helpful and lightening my mother’s load, I came off as bossy and naggy to my sisters (and probably to my parents as well). This is why it is important for families to not only understand one another’s roles, but also understand the intentions behind those roles. I firmly believe in weekly family council and believe that if family roles are discussed among family members, we can be much more effective.

My husband and I do not have any children yet, but we have already established some pretty distinct roles for our future family. Although we both work since we don’t have any children (yet) to care for, it has already been decided between us that he will be the provider and I will stay home with our children. We believe that mothers staying in the home is of great value and tremendously benefits children. We also have established our roles as parents when the time comes, and we will continue to counsel with one another as we have children and need to make adjustments.

As a married couple, we also have current roles, specifically pertaining to house chores. I would say for the most part our roles are pretty traditional, but we are both always willing to help out wherever and whenever is needed. For example, I typically cook dinner and do laundry and my husband takes out the trash and does any handy work around the house. But if ever my husband wants to cook dinner, he does. And if I see that the trash needs to be taken out, I’m more than willing to help out. I believe that these traditional roles are there for a reason, because men and women were created with specific innate abilities and talents, but I also think it is important to know how to accomplish all of these tasks.

This is something that my husband and I believe is very important to teach our children. While it makes sense to have our sons mow the lawn, take out the trash, etc. because their muscle structure is different, I also want them to learn how to cook, do laundry, grocery shop, etc. The same can be said for our daughters. Yes, I look forward to teaching my daughters to bake as it can become a fun thing to do together, I also want to teach them how to do yard work and all other household chores. These are skills that I believe everyone should have and I want to give my children the best upbringing possible so they can be effective members of society as adults.

I believe that family roles are vital to functioning families. It is important for family members to know their place, and for everyone to understand why their roles are what they are. Having roles that meet your values and knowing all these skills will help families become effective and functional, and I believe if families will counsel together to establish these roles, this can be accomplished.