One aspect of family life that I believe often times gets overlooked is the importance of not only having a father in the home, but also fathers’ involvement in the home and in their children’s lives.
There are many differences between mothering and fathering in the traditional family, but perhaps the most obvious one is their difference in roles. Mothers, in a traditional home setting, most often stay home with the children and nurture/teach them, while the father is most often off somewhere else working in order to protect and provide for the family.
While both these roles are essential for raising a successful family, when fathers are gone so much from the home and work long hours, this can be really hard on the family. Not only does his wife end up feeling like a single mother, but the children often end up feeling like they don’t have a dad, or at the very least thirst for a better relationship and more involvement with their father.
I personally felt this growing up. I grew up in a happy, comfortable home with a mom, a dad, and siblings; however, in order to maintain this comfortable home with the opportunities for us kids that my parents desired, my fathers was left working long hours. Especially when he started his own business, I felt like I never saw him. He traveled frequently, but even when he was home he was always working which was really hard on my family.
Don’t get me wrong, I am immensely grateful for all the many opportunities my parents provided for me and my sisters. However, I think it would have been much more beneficial for my family to have a dad who was more present in the home. I would trade all my extracurricular activities and material things I was blessed with for more time with my dad as a child in a heartbeat.
I sincerely hope for a different lifestyle when it comes to my husband’s relationship with our children. We have had countless conversations about how important his relationship with our children is to us. We will do our absolute best to put ourselves in a position where he will never have a job that requires traveling or working long hours. Our kids and family life will always remain first priority above work or material things. I would always rather have a small house with a present husband and father for my children than have a mansion with nice cars with a husband who is working long hours.
Fathers already have a hard enough time connecting with their children as they are away from the home more often than mothers, so we should strive to make the most of it! Wherever the father can step in to help or enjoy hobbies with his children, he should try to do so. I can’t wait to see my husband as a father because I can imagine him playing sports or music with them, taking them on fun outings and vacations, and anything else he may choose to do with them. I believe these activities are vital for a father’s relationship with his children.
Though it is not always possible for there to be a father in the home, much less for a father to be so involved with his children, I hope it is a goal we can all have. My heart goes out to single mothers because I sincerely cannot imagine raising my children without my husband by my side. Male role models are so important for children’s development and mental health, and I hope that as mothers we can strive to have that for our children.
Elisabeth Hampton & Family 